12 Lessons From a Tuscany Mastermind
Last Saturday I arrived back home after spending a week at a peer Mastermind in Tuscany and while I'm still processing many of the things I've taken away after the last few days but I wanted to share with you some of the biggie's that have come up so far...
Lesson 1 : There's a dark side and a light side to EVERYTHING.
Many women there talked about their mission and purpose and why they do the work they do. Others mentioned they didn't feel like they had a mission or a purpose (apart from to create a cool business that supports them, their fam, and the kind of life they want to create) and upon hearing the others speak about theirs questioned whether that was a 'bad' thing.
The replies around the table : Having a purpose you feel deep down in your soul is a beautiful thing, yet for some that driving force along their own journey has led to them not being able to stop and pushing themselves way harder than was healthy for them (like to the point of exhaustion/burnout).
So is it a 'good' thing or a 'bad' thing to feel like you don't have a purpose or mission yet? Actually (just like everything else) it's BOTH at the same time.
Lesson 2 : Through conversation comes clarity.
I went to Tuscany with two questions I wanted to bring to the table and brainstorm. On the last day while we hadn't gotten to my hot seat time yet both of my questions had already been answered within me.
Being here I remembered the importance of conversation and how actually sometimes you don't even need a direct answer - the simple act of listening to others and hearing their perspectives (meaning perspectives outside of your own brain and thinking) can give you everything you need.
Lesson 3 : Women are really fucking powerful when they believe and trust in themselves.
It starts there, it ends there. I've seen many women not start the thing they have in their hearts because fear and self doubt is speaking (or sometimes shouting at them) louder than self belief is. I've also seen and worked with many women who've been derailed from their path and the success they've built so far by listening to an outside mentor or coach who was out of alignment with them (meaning, they've listened to their coach/mentor more than trusting their own intuition and the answers they have within).
I don't care what fear says or what experience another coach/mentor has...
Believe in yourself and trust yourself and you become truly unstoppable.
Related resource : The Daily Brave, a 222 page journal for overcoming fear and self doubt.
Lesson 4 : I need to be around groups of (fucking awesome) women more.
The main reason I was an insta-yes to Tuscany was because as much as I love having my own business, the dark side (read lesson one above) is that actually it can be pretty lonely, especially when you work from home and have the same four walls to speak to day after day after day... which give little (to let's face it) zero conversation back.
I left Tuscany feeling so energised and not just because of what we discussed, but because the energy of a group of really friggin' awesome women (even for an introvert who likes tucking herself away at the end of the day) is a REALLY powerful thing.
Lesson 5 : I've come a long way.
I remember being in the early stages of my business and getting approached by certain people I admired who wanted to hire me. I'd have this... 'Holy shitballs, so-in-so wants to hire me, ME, like really...?!?! Are they sure...?!' feeling all totally unworthy and outta my depths.
Sure there might be some women who know more than I do about certain things or who make more money than I do (right now ;) ) or who have won awards that I haven't yet... So what?
Their awesomeness doesn't take away from my awesomeness or the value that I bring to the table. It felt good sitting their feeling no better than but also no less than anyone else their too and feeling just how far I'd come on my own self love journey.
Lesson 6 : When someone is cool and awesome - tell them.
Something I've been practicing more is letting people know how they make me feel or what I've received from being around them (advice that feels good, more confident in myself or an idea I've had...).
I don't think we do this enough and sometimes it can feel like we're talking into the abyss on social media and this online world we live in with no one really listening or caring yet often that's not the case at all - people simply don't always say when they've been touched or moved.
Yet since doing this more and more and seeing the faces of those I share with... Well let's just say it's utterly priceless (and #SorryNotSorry to those I make cry seeing what I see).
Lesson 7 : Validation
I went to Tuscany pretty clear on the next steps I want to take in my business and didn't feel the need for 'validation', yet through the conversations that were brought up I literally received it in the bucketloads.
I was excited before going to share some of the new things I have planned with you, yet hearing the stories around our table I now know even more just how I don't just have a cool idea but something that's so NEEDED which has given me extra force and drive to make it happen this year.
Lesson 8 : The only person who can ever stop us, is us.
It was interesting sitting around the table and hearing some of the 'blocks' and 'challenges' that came up, and yet with every single challenge that did come up that someone was facing (and I say this lovingly because I've been this person - and still am somedays! - myself) the only real 'block' was the person themselves - or more accurately put, the fear or self doubt voice inside of them.
If you ever think you're the only one that feels scared or nervous let me just say nope, not at all..! It doesn't matter what 'level' of business you're at we ALL feel that way from time to time and the only difference with how successful we become is how much we listen to that voice of the voices of love and courage and belief.
And wait... Did someone say they have a book that helps with that?
They sure did, find it here : The Daily Brave, a 222 page journal for overcoming fear and self doubt.
Lesson 9 : Money is only one metric of success.
Now THIS I loved so much. Yes every woman around the table had #Goals when it came to income, yet it was refreshing AF that money wasn't their ONLY metric for success. I have another post I'll share on this another time as to how to be clear on yours, but knowing exactly what your own metrics for success are will help you create your own business in a far more balanced and beautiful way.
To give you an idea my metrics for success (on top of my income goal) are: Freedom, Security, Spaciousness and Creativity. It's important to me as I grow my business they're ALL in equal balance.
Lesson 10 : The thing you do is never just the thing you do.
When I've launched courses before it never fails to amaze me what else comes my way through doing so. For example, I'll then have people then invite me on their podcast or to be a speaker at their event as they learn more about what I do or I'll have more potential coaching clients reach out to me and say... 'I love the look of this course but do you do 1:1 as well?'
I went to Tuscany for more connection and to brainstorm a couple ideas I had yet apart from new lush friends I left with two invites to be on podcasts, three potential collaboration projects, and an invite to be part of... Well something I can't spill the details of yet but something that's got me super excited! (I'll share the second I can).
Nutshell : When you do or create something it's never just that thing that happens. By putting it (or you) out there in the world it always creates a beautiful ripple effect in ways you can never even plan. Roll with it and enjoy
Lesson 11 : Everyone has trauma.
In my life I've had three big instances of trauma - my guys accident, the bullying I received while at school and one other I'm not ready yet to share.
The latter two are now why I do the work I do. I know what it's like not to know how to show yourself love or to fully trust yourself or even be ok with who you are.
Sitting around the table though I heard stories from almost every woman there who had experienced some kind of major trauma at least once in her life. While I share some of mine not everyone does (which is more than ok) yet being here it made me realise that actually there's far more people who have been through major tough stuff (and trauma) than you know - and just because they don't speak about it doesn't mean it isn't there or it hasn't happened.
So most of all I want to remember that...
You never know what someone has gone through or is going through, so when in doubt COMPASSION always.
Lesson 12 : Italians really do do the best ice cream.
If you've been to Italy, need I say more 😉.