There’s always another way…
My guys not much of a writer or sharer of 'personal stuff' (he'd much rather put a brave face on, crack a smile, a laugh or a joke), yet today he wrote this...
A story of his I never would have told yet I'm proud he shared, because you never know who's (quietly) going through their own stuff, with their own brave face on.
It’s mental health awareness week this week so this post is going to be about just that. You don’t have to read this and I totally wont be offended if you just keep scrolling but inspired by Zara (@bikesboardsblethers on Insta) and her #mtbmentalhealth this is my story:
So having never really endured any hardship and spending my days funkin about with the lads on site and weekends out on the bike - mental health was always kind of a… ‘well they just need to man up and deal with it, shit happens, move on’ thing… oh how wrong could I of been.
As you guys will know things did change… Pretty feckin drastically!
Post accident and after I came out of hospital, now, I don’t know whether it was stopping loads of my pain meds (side note on this: listen to the docs and ween yourself off any strong meds - don’t just go cold turkey like this numpty did!), the pain, the lack of sleep due to the pain, the trying to adjust to this new life or a combo of it all, but I ended up in a dark place, like a VERY DARK PLACE.
Now thank God, Buddha, Johnny Cash, whoever… but before I did anything stupid my girlfriend rang me (she was away for a couple days) and we talked about what was going on and the place I was in, and I finally agreed I needed some help - and more importantly, that I needed to accept that help.
Randomly on Sunday I found an old notebook with ‘The Note’ I wrote for Ruth when I was in that dark place… Reading it brought a lump to my throat thinking that I was so close to doing something that now seems so stupid but at the time was what I honestly thought was the only option.
More importantly it also made me realise all the absolutely amazing things I/we’ve done since then - the awesome adventures, the cool shiz, the place in life I am now.
Things can and do get better, and yeah the pain still sucks and I wouldn’t recommend an spinal cord injury to anyone (shit even the privileged parking turns into a nightmare most days), but we’ve found a way to make things work and I am now a million miles from day of ‘that note’.
I guess what I’m trying to say is if you’re in a dark place then please PLEASE reach out, ask for help. As lonely as it may seem people are there to help you, even more so they *want* to help you.
Also be mindful when dealing with others as you never know what they are going through behind closed doors, we are all guilty of showing only our bravest of faces in public and especially on social media.
I know there’s a few people on here who follow me who have been through a similar thing and if you ever get to a similar place then please remember my inbox is always open.
Keep striving, keep smiling, never quit.
PS… If you wanna read more about mine and my guys story and all that happened...